You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
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