so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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