Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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