I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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