Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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