I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
