my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
