They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
