I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
