He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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