he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
