I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I wish you could order shots online.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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