How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
