took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
