I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
