i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
