you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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