We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Randomize