I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Randomize
