I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
