But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
there is another microwave in the elevator.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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