Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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