I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
You are a genius and a whore.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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