I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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