why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
