At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Vodka?
Forever.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
