Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
