physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
