I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize