I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
