I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
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