its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
