shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
