I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
