At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Randomize