no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
