Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
