she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize