Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
