Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
