I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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