from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
