The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
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