he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I have aggressive nipples.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
