We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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