I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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