break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I look better un-naked...
only if we run a train.
done.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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