I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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