Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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