"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
