dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
