I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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