I'm laying in your front yard are you home
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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