Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
