why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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