When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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