Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I think my vagina is haunted
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
