Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
