So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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