I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You are the jesus of drinking
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
