why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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