Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
