I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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