If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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